It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
