I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
