Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
