I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
