8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
