Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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