It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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