24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
