she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
