Where did you get a picture of my penis
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
