my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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