Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
