It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
