This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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