Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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