i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
