Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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