hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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