I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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