im drinking this country out of the recession.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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