The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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