the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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