Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
