bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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