I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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