Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
