tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
