How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I look better un-naked...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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