hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I could fuck to npr.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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