She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
