He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
