Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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