id be glad to
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
