I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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