C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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