never play flip cup with pint glasses
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize