Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
