dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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