were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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