She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
