DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
