My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
