She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
