Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
