If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My ATM looks so different sober.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
