In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
