Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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