why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
