I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
