Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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