This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
