I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
