How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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