i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize