girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
