Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
