think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize