Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize