Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
