She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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