Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
