You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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