Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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