Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
