i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize