So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
