I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
