i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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