So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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