you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
