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pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
