So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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