If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
