nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
