I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
